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Top Tips For Dealing With The Loss of a Loved One

There are very well defined and accepted stages that people go through when they suffer the loss of loved one. Not everyone goes through the stages in the same way or the same order or even may not go through these stages at all. But for the vast majority of people who suffer the loss of a loved one do go through these stages and in this order.
"Not I, which can not possibly happen to me."
Significant in the phase of denial are feeling shock, disbelief, rigidity and a narcotic out of body feeling. Denial protects the mourners temporarily, until they can start to deal with the loss. One should not try to get through this phase too quickly, denial is a natural phenomenon.
Anger
"Why me?" or "Why my husband / wife my / my child?" are questions that will be asked, often with great anger. Allegations of doctor's fault or blame placed on some totally inappropriate person are also very common. Another direction for this anger is against god or the devil or other non-human often based on the persons own religious beliefs
Guilt
"Why I did not ...?" or "If I had only ..." are questions and accusations which have been used after the loss of a loved on. Sometimes it is easier for people to make accusations than to accept the death.
In some cases, e.g. in a car accident it is often guilt at surviving; this is extremely common for some reason with air disasters. It is under such circumstances often a very long time before people find peace with themselves.
Disorganization
After an initial processing of the person usually breaks into a big flood of emotions including fear, reluctance, doubt, relief, anger and sadness. Each emotion will be quickly overwhelmed by the next. Haggling and negotiating with God is another common effect, trying to cut a deal that will bring the loved one back, even if the person is not at all religious.
Depression
Depression is often the next way a person will deal with this seemingly hopeless situation of the loss, and may fall into a deep "psychological hole,". It usually manifests itself in the form of hopelessness, inertia, apathy, isolation and sadness.
Depression is sadness even though it may be temporary in nature, the duration of such a depression is not set in stone and it is perfectly normal that he or she is depressed for months
Fear
Fear is a normal part of the mourning process, the death may make a person aware of all the threats in the world that seem vastly magnified. We all have fears but in this situation the line between real and unrealistic fears is so blurred it can not be distinguished by the bereaved.
Acceptance
After much great despair and inner struggles most people finally accept the reality of the death of a loved one, so that the healing process can begin. It finally opens up new possibilities; one sees light at the end of the tunnel. Life is no longer quite so bleak, there is some new hope.

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